How does one learn compassion, and what is Self-Compassion?
The term compassion has been around for many millennia, primarily in a religious context. This tells us that the concept of compassion has been with us approximately 4,000 years. It is central to the teachings of Hinduism, Judaism, Islam, Christianity and Buddhism.
It is generally defined as: “sympathetic consciousness of others' distress together with a desire to alleviate it” (Merriam-Webster Dictionary). What distinguishes compassion for other forms of caring for another is the desire to alleviate the suffering of another.
The contemplative traditions of the major world religions discuss compassion as fundamental to our wellbeing and a quality of the Divine (however you would like to define that). Keshia Williams, a young black girl, protected a white man suspected of being a Klan member. You can read the full store here... https://www.bbc.com/news/magazine-24653643
And, today’s world being in the state it is in, many consider compassion to be indispensable for the survival of the human race. During the COVID-19 pandemic, HH The Dalai Lama gave an eloquent talk on what compassion is and how it can help us in these trying times. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YPbkml9o3_Q&t=56s
We will also be talking about mindfulness quite a bit since mindfulness and compassion are like two wings of the same bird; they support and serve each other.
One of the difficulties in talking about compassion and mindfulness today is that these teachings and practices come out of the context of religion and into a consumer-based economy.
One that thrives primarily on the purchase of goods and services based on how we want to be seen by others. When we compare ourselves to others in order to get a sense of our personal worth, we are more susceptible to mental health issues and, consequently, problems in our social order.
To sum up, self-loathing has become widespread. A search in Google Scholar produced about 149,000 results and about 1,000 results on Amazon on the search term “self-loathing”. And self-loathing is nothing more than what is commonly called negative self-talk. It includes shaming, blaming, criticism, judgment of ourselves and rumination on what we perceive to be our failures and flaws.
There are three modes of compassion: giving compassion to others, receiving compassion from others, and giving compassion to ourselves. The primary emphasis will be on self-compassion, mindful of the implications of giving and receiving compassion, as well as implications for the social order.
Self-compassion is an ideal antidote to self-loathing. In this series, we will learn how to let go of the adversarial self-relationship and create a positive, amicable relationship with ourselves. This is not only of service to ourselves, but also to the world.
