Sympathy, Empathy, Loving Kindness and Compassion

It is important to define the terms we are working with, and since Sympathy, empathy, loving kindness and compassion have often been used interchangeably, but have important distinctions.

 Empathy is most often confused with compassion. The American Heritage Dictionary, empathy is defined as an identification with and understanding of another's situation, feelings, and motives.

This state of identification means that the empathic person feels the emotional state of another. It is important to realize that this means that now there are two people suffering.

Compassion, however is defined (American Heritage Dictionary) as deep awareness of the suffering of another and the wish to relieve it.

The need for a clear distinction arose with the awareness of caregiver burnout, which, at first, was called empathy fatigue. If one is only feeling the pain of another, caring for another would produce burnout.

However, compassion can establish a balance. Experienced caregivers can be with great suffering, stay compassionate, yet not take on the pain of the other.

And, most importantly, with compassion a caregiver is more likely to recognize when they need to stop, take a break, and replenish themselves, and avoid burnout... showing compassion for themselves.

Loving kindness seems to sit directly between empathy and compassion, in that it has a positive, affectionate regard for another, the component of benevolence, and the motivation of affection (love). While it is more active than empathy, it is not as engaged as compassion.

Merriam-Webster Dictionary: tender and benevolent affection

Webster’s 1913 Dictionary: tender kindness motivated by a feeling of affection

Since these days words of affection get tossed around quite a bit: I love my/your _________, whatever it is, curtains, car, photo on social media, etc.

Getting a clear understanding of what we feel and what our motives and intentions are, has never been more important. Working with compassion can help us bring greater clarity to our relationship with ourselves and others.

One of the best presentations on compassion, in my opinion, is HH The Dalai Lama’s talk given during COVID, entitled Compassion is the radicalism of our time.

Enjoy... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YPbkml9o3_Q&t=56s